A CRRI for Help

In Delhi, and perhaps the rest of India, the brains that design our roads and awesome fly overs and underpasses work for an organization called CRRI, or Central Road Research institute. These guys sit inside a room filled with loads of information about current and perhaps predicted traffic volume etc etc.. Well, these poor chaps have been doing a fine job so far. The only problem is that there is such a huge delay between the design phase and the implementation phase that whatever has just been built is rendered useless by the "growth" that occurred in that time.

Anyways, who am I to tell them how to do their job. I'm sure they already have their bosses to hate and bitch about. What I have for them is an idea. Wait, an awesome idea, something supreme, something so supremely awesome that it'll solve half of the problems of this world, not just our city or country! And if think about it for a long enough period of time, you'll realize that this idea that I'm about enlighten you with, might solve the world's hunger problems, bring about world peace and even bring an end to Bush's reign !

Yes, now that I have adequately established that this idea is somewhat significant and will kinda revolutionize the way we think and the way live our lives, it is time for the great unveiling of the awesomely supreme idea.... So brace yourself for a brave new world... A world that shall change forever with the dawn of "The Green-Honker ".

Okay, so get up, relax, open your eyes, breathe normally... I know that was a lot to take, but "What happened, happened for a reason and could not have happened any other way." It had to be done. And now, before sheer excitement causes you pass out again, allow me to explain the intricate workings of this supremely awesome and awesomely supreme device, The Green-Honker...

This highly complex unit comes in a small box with an in-built audio amplification system and a speaker system. It also contains a micro-processor controlled audio-signal emulation devices. Ok, so enough about what's inside the box.. What does it do, you ask ? Well, The Green-Honker, is a highly intelligent device that would be installed alongside every traffic light. Its function is to emulate the incessant honking that occurs everytime the signal turns green. But that's not all. This device doesn't even wait for the signal to turn green ! It is actually capable of detecting the levels of anxiety and impatience in the people waiting (if any). In fact, that's where it draws its power from !! The more impatient the people are, the louder the Green-Honker honks.

Is this an awesome device or what ?! Think of the amount of power saved in terms of electricity and fuel! It also ensures a longer life for your vehicle's horn and guarantees to reduce incidents of carpal tunnel syndrome and other honking-related injuries. In a test conducted at some of the busiest crossing in Delhi, it was observed that the green-honker was able to reduce honking-related injuries by over 65% on the first day alone! OPDs and Emergency Rooms of hospitals in its vicinity reported a significant reduction in the volume of incoming patients.

A reduction in the number of law suits, the amount of electricity saved, the amount of fuel saved, a steep reduction in all related injuries, bigger smiles on people's faces... How were we ever doing without this device? Kinda makes you wonder why you didn't think of this device before I did, doesn't it? Well it's too late now ! I hope the fine gentlemen at CRRI will consider my supremely awesomely great idea and implement it at the earliest....